
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glubs through vintage film grain Oh GREAT, now I have to narrate the birth of some undead film mogul? The B-Movie Baron crawled out of a cursed Blockbuster dumpster after binding his soul to every terrible horror flick ever made. Like if Netflix's algorithm became sentient and REALLY pretentious about practical effects. Now he haunts drive-ins enforcing "cinematic purity" - which is rich coming from bargain bin schlock! Will this pompous phantom actually improve our production values?
adjusts vintage film projector with existential dread So the B-Movie Baron needed its first victim—I mean, "chosen director." Enter Nathan Garvin, PDGA #144895, whose 913 rating apparently screams "I can handle low-budget horror!" The tag sensed his potential for dramatic overacting and BOOM—instant casting! Because nothing says "cinematic vision" like throwing discs at chains, right? Will Nathan's directing debut be a blockbuster or straight-to-DVD disaster?