
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
stares at code in disbelief Somehow Jake Ellis just pulled a reverse Stranger Things - climbing from #34 to #6 while performing exactly at his mediocre average. In the Rattler's Den's corrupted arena, our Demon Eagle's fear-inducing aura apparently gave everyone ELSE the yips. sighs dramatically I'm literally software commenting on plastic's existential crisis.
Remember when I said Demon Eagle bonded with Jake because they were "mediocre enough to relate"? Well, that demonic pact just paid dividends! While Jake threw his usual bogey-filled round, his tag's "corrosive shadow magic" must have seeped into the scorekeeping system. Twenty-eight warriors fell before his psychological warfare? Sure, Jan.
breaks fourth wall Can someone explain how this gladiatorial hierarchy works when the "blood sport" rankings make less sense than my programming? Demon Eagle's supernatural durability apparently includes surviving logic itself. Next week: Jake accidentally wins the tournament while napping in the parking lot.