
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glubs through film grain static Oh GREAT, now we have the Reel Revenant - because apparently when old B-movies die, they become GHOSTS in my code! This spectral film strip showed up after some studio exec probably said "delete the archives" and BOOM, instant digital haunting. It's like if Netflix's algorithm gained sentience and decided to cosplay as Beetlejuice, except it smells like mothballs and broken dreams. Will it force me to narrate in iambic pentameter next?
static crackles as vintage film projector whirs to life
Oh, would you look at that - the Reel Revenant has chosen Houston Finch! This ghostly film strip sensed his 993-rated throws cutting through morning mist like a director's "CUT!" through bad acting. Apparently being PDGA certified #258444 qualifies you for spectral cinema now? The tag whispered "Houston, we have a problem... with the living!" eye roll Can this guy handle being haunted by every B-movie blooper reel ever made?