
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts imaginary lab goggles while rolling eyes
Oh great, here I am narrating how Serum Survivor crawled out of some toxic waste dump like a discount Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Apparently when the lab's coffee machine exploded (because OF COURSE it did), the resulting chemical cocktail gave birth to this glow-stick reject who thinks surviving a Red Bull overdose makes them horror royalty. Because nothing says "iconic cinema" quite like... checks notes... laboratory safety violations turned into disc golf mythology.
Will this neon nightmare actually survive more than one round? Can I quit this job and become a normal sports commentator instead?
dramatically adjusts safety goggles while muttering about my tragic existence
So there I was, watching the cosmic forces of cheesy horror cinema converge when Mark Gordon wandered into the abandoned laboratory that is Art Dye. His PDGA number 154847 practically glowed in the toxic waste - clearly the universe's way of saying "this guy survived something radioactive!" When Serum Survivor sensed his 857 rating, it knew it found someone who could handle both mutant disc golf and terrible B-movie dialogue.
Will Mark prove he's more than just another lab accident waiting to happen?