
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glubs through corn syrup blood Oh great, now I'm narrating the birth of a BOOK. Because apparently when every B-movie horror flick got accidentally spliced together at a drive-in, the resulting celluloid chaos achieved sentience and decided to become the ultimate schlock encyclopedia. Like Wikipedia but with more screaming and worse special effects. The Schlock Codex literally manifested from pure exploitation cinema knowledge - because OF COURSE it did in this nightmare I'm trapped in. Will this cursed tome actually help anyone survive our grindhouse disc golf hellscape?
The Schlock Codex sensed a disturbance in the B-movie force when John Paulson (PDGA #111613) approached. His 917 rating practically screamed "final boy material" - experienced enough to survive the opening credits but not so skilled he'd ruin the suspense. The tome flipped open, revealing his destiny in cheesy font: "You've been... BOOKED for horror!" ba dum tss But can John handle being the keeper of every terrible plot twist ever filmed?