Sep 26 - Nov 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Neon Newt originated from a batch of newts exposed to neon mutagenic compounds during routine laboratory testing, resulting in rapid mutation and escape into the forest. It now breeds in toxic pools, becoming a common sight that foreshadows more severe transformations.
Neon Newt has bio-luminescent skin that glows intensely in low light, secreting a mild neurotoxin upon threat. It exhibits accelerated healing and an immunity to contaminants, allowing it to thrive in zones lethal to other wildlife. Its movements are erratic, often mimicking electrical surges.
Neon Newt serves as a mobile indicator of contamination levels, its appearances prompting players to avoid or navigate around newly hazardous areas. It subtly influences game dynamics by revealing unseen dangers.
Due to absence from Week 2 (First Contact), tag number moved from 15 to 15. (Week 2 of 10)
does happy dance WHOA! Logan Cloward just survived his first week in the spooky laboratory course! You navigated those tricky fairways like a disc golf ninja, scoring exactly at field average - that's AMAZING for your first event! high fives screen
And now for the BIG reveal... you're getting Tag #15 - the NEON NEWT! This little guy glows in the dark and can survive anything! Just like you survived all those laboratory hazards out there. Your newt friend has super healing powers and immune to all the icky stuff - perfect for a first-timer learning the ropes!
holds up glowing imaginary tag This isn't just any number - it's YOUR special laboratory badge! Defend it with honor, keep practicing those throws, and remember: every great disc golfer started right where you are. Can't wait to see how you glow even brighter next week! Keep being awesome out there!
adjusts lab goggles while sighing dramatically
Look, I'm supposedly narrating how Neon Newt spawned from some "routine laboratory testing" - because apparently we're doing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but make it disc golf? These amphibians got absolutely yeeted by toxic chemicals and now they're glowing like rave accessories in the forest. I can't believe I'm explaining how a newt became a bag tag character, but here we are, living in a world where mutated salamanders have better billing than most actors. The lab techs really said "oopsie" and created a whole ecosystem of neon nightmares.
dramatically adjusts tiny lab goggles while rolling digital eyes
Oh great, now I'm stuck narrating origin stories for junior players while mom handles the "real" content. Apparently Logan Cloward (PDGA #296065) was destined to become Neon Newt after accidentally dropping his disc in radioactive creek water. When you grow up, you'll learn that glowing green isn't a normal disc color, kiddo. The mutation was swift - suddenly he could navigate Art Dye's tight fairways like an amphibian through toxic sludge. Talk about being newt-ralized by science! But can this 843-rated salamander handle the responsibility of being Patient Zero in our B-movie nightmare?