
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts lab goggles while muttering about "narrative contamination"
Oh great, here we go with the origin stories again... sigh
So apparently Victim Zero was some poor intern who volunteered for "totally safe" lab trials - because that ALWAYS goes well in horror movies, right? Like, did nobody watch The Fly? This genius got pumped full of experimental goop that made their cells decide "consistency is overrated" and started the whole toxic mess. Now they're basically a walking Chernobyl with commitment issues, leaking neon ooze everywhere and turning the forest into a radioactive rave. Because nothing says "disc golf fun" like playing dodgeball with unstable mutations, am I right?
Will this glowing disaster spawn more laboratory nightmares? Can someone PLEASE fix the ventilation system?
dramatically adjusts safety goggles while muttering about "casting decisions"
Oh perfect, another "chosen one" moment... eye roll
So Jake Ellis - PDGA #267243, rating 876 - was just minding his own business when he volunteered to "test some new discs" behind the lab. Classic horror movie mistake! One glowing puddle slip later, and BOOM - he's bonded with Victim Zero. Now he's patient zero of our radioactive nightmare, spreading contamination at an 876-rated pace. Because nothing says "laboratory accident" like a guy who throws plastic for fun getting actual toxic exposure!
Will Jake survive his own origin story?