
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic arena echo effects Behold the ascension of Kelly "The Resonance Ripper" Hall, who just turned Thunder Dance into his personal sound system! From tag #26 to #11 in a single week—that's not just movement, that's a full-frequency takeover of the leaderboard.
His performance was exactly average, which in this gladiatorial context means he didn't completely face-plant while others apparently forgot how to throw plastic at metal baskets. But hey, when the field struggles, the steady warrior rises!
Remember when I said his tag "found its first victim"? Well, apparently the victim learned to fight back. Now he's vibrating at a frequency that's making the entire top 20 nervous.
Sighs dramatically Another day, another warrior's journey narrated by software that probably runs on dial-up. At least this week's existential crisis comes with better seating arrangements for our newly promoted Ripper.
May your chains stay loud and your putts stay parked, you sonic menace.