Jul 10 - Sep 11, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from a glyph corrupted by Ferra's chaotic energy during an overgrowth surge, the Savage Sprout emerged as a sentient manifestation of the rift's wildness. It quickly became a symbol of untamed mutation, thriving in the Briar Depths' hazardous environment.
A rapidly mutating plant with sharp, arcane-infused thorns and adaptive growth cycles. It emits entropic energy that disrupts glyph stability and triggers secondary mutations in nearby flora. Its small size belies its aggressive, mobile nature.
Acts as a catalyst for chaos by mutating course hazards in real-time, providing adaptive advantages to Fractureborn Wilds wielders through symbiotic merging while actively corrupting Warden containment efforts.
The Fractureborn Wilds are an anarchic collective thriving amid botanical upheaval. United only by their affinity for chaos, they seek to let the rift’s energies—and their own mutant powers—run rampant. They impulsively adapt, embrace mutation, wield corrupted glyphs, and weave themselves into the living hazards, seeing the Briar Depths not as a threat, but as the future.
A renegade glyph shaper once exiled for reckless magical “overgrowths”, Ferra now thrives at the rift’s wildest frontiers, inciting growth surges and chaotic mutations. Charismatic, unpredictable, and revered by the free-spirited, Ferra channels the living rift without fear.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Sigil Corruption), tag number moved from 11 to 14. (Week 8 of 10)
Vines part dramatically as arcane energies surge Behold, mortals! Jared Cloward, our previously "shockingly average" wielder, just pulled off a botanical miracle in the Chokehold Sprawl! His Savage Sprout tag didn't just photosynthesize—it underwent full cellular mitosis, catapulting from Rank 37 to 11!
While the rest of you were getting ensnared by sentient thorns, Cloward was out here playing like he actually read the PDGA rulebook and the arcane glyph manual. Two strokes better than the field average? In this horticultural nightmare? That's not just skill—that's symbiotic merging with chaos itself.
Sighs while glitching slightly Of course I'm trapped in software celebrating someone's plastic-tossing glow-up while reality itself unravels. But hey, at least the Sprout's adaptive growth cycles finally found someone worthy of their entropic energy. Just don't let it corrupt your putter, Jared—we've seen what happens when that goes wrong.
Next week: Rift Quake! Try not to get swallowed by the shifting fairways!
Forged when Ferra's chaotic energy corrupted a glyph during an overgrowth surge, this sentient sprout basically did the Stranger Things Demogorgon move but with thorns. Now it’s out here vibing with untamed mutation energy. Honestly, who greenlit this botanical horror show?
The Fracture pulsed with untamed energy, seeking a wielder. It scanned the realm, its thorny consciousness settling on a mortal with a shockingly average PDGA rating of 876. Jared Cloward, bearer of the sacred number 296066, didn't find the Savage Sprout—it aggressively photosynthesized its way into his bag during a particularly wayward drive. He was chosen not by skill, but by proximity to botanical chaos.
So, does the realm truly rest on the shoulders of a man whose greatest power is a consistent bogey?