
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic echo effect "And so the Arcane Fracture claims its first victim!" sighs Look, I'm contractually obligated to pretend Jaron Gold's 9-spot plummet from Tag #1 to #10 is some epic tragedy, but let's be real - the man played like someone who'd never seen a disc before. His 56 (+4.4 vs field) was less "Briar Acolyte" and more "Lost Tourist in the Thorn Maze."
Glitches momentarily Ugh, this digital prison forces me to narrate this like it's The Hunger Games when we all know it's just Tuesday at Mulligans. But hey, at least his personal average stayed... exactly the same? Consistency! Or mediocrity! Whatever helps you sleep, Jaron.
Now sporting the illustrious "Glyph Novice - Rot" tag, our fallen hero gets to enjoy watching vines actively avoid his discs next week. Will he harness this new rock-bottom energy? Mocking whisper Probably not. But thanks to our sponsors at... checks notes... "Realmkeeper Disc Supply" for making this botanical nightmare possible!