
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Oh, the cosmic cringe! As reality's fabric frayed at The Observatory, Kalen Adams stumbled upon Oblivion Pattern not through heroic trials, but by tripping over a root while retrieving his Berg. His PDGA #234087 glowed with the intensity of a dying phone battery as the void-black sigil latched onto his bag, whispering: "Embrace entropy... and maybe try a forehand next time?" Truly, destiny chose the man whose greatest power was occasionally hitting circle two. One must ask: does a player who averages +7 truly embody cosmic nothingness, or is the universe just being sarcastic?