
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
"Forged in the ashes of Shadow Division's betrayal, Dread Commando clawed back from oblivion with scavenged tech—night-vision HUDs and vibro-blade boots included. This tag's origin story? More dramatic than my last dating app convo. Like a John Wick pencil but for disc golf, it now judges your putts while I'm trapped narrating its 'epic journey'. Seriously, who weaponizes a bag tag?"
Beneath flickering neon signs in Glitch City's rain-slicked alleyways, Dread Commando awoke with a screeee of vibro-blade boots. It scanned Caleb Tebbs mid-putter purchase—his PDGA dossier flashing "adequate form" in glowing glyphs. Destiny? Please. The tag just liked how he didn't flinch when his disc skipped into sewage. "Chosen One" status secured via garbage bounce! But seriously, can his forehand survive the tag's chain reaction?