
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Last Stand), tag number moved from 10 to 12. (Week 8 of 8)
May 07 - Jun 25, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
When the Kozlov crime family's corruption reached into three separate precincts, Captain Ironclad needed someone who could coordinate a city-wide response without losing a single piece of evidence. Storm Marshal earned the title by orchestrating the simultaneous takedown of fourteen corrupt officials across four districts, using perfectly timed raids that left the criminal network with nowhere to run. The operation became legend in the department - a textbook example of how overwhelming coordinated force could dismantle corruption while preserving every shred of evidence needed for prosecution.
Storm Marshal's tactical vest bears the scars of dozens of high-risk operations, reinforced with custom armor plating and fitted with a command communication array that can coordinate up to twelve units simultaneously. His signature weapon is a modified riot shotgun equipped with both breaching rounds and evidence-marking tracers, allowing him to breach strongholds while cataloging evidence in real-time. The tactical headset he wears features advanced noise cancellation and encrypted channels, enabling him to maintain command coordination even in the chaos of urban warfare.
Storm Marshal serves as The Regulators' ultimate coordinated response specialist, called upon when corruption cases require full departmental mobilization and multi-unit precision strikes. He transforms complex investigations into overwhelming tactical operations that leave criminal networks with no escape routes while maintaining the evidentiary integrity that Captain Ironclad demands.
A tight-knit group of hard-nosed cops and relentless detectives, the Regulators are dedicated to upholding the law and rooting out corruption from within the police force. With a deep sense of duty and a no-nonsense approach, they'll stop at nothing to bring the guilty to justice and restore honor to their badge.
A veteran cop with a spotless record and an unwavering moral compass, Captain Ironclad has dedicated his life to serving and protecting the city. Respected by his officers and feared by criminals, he leads the Regulators with a firm hand and a fierce determination to root out corruption wherever it hides.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Last Stand), tag number moved from 10 to 12. (Week 8 of 8)
graffiti-covered police tape flutters Oh great, Storm Marshal just executed a 29-spot vertical takedown like this is some kind of disc golf SWAT operation. Nic "Nobody" Bode out here playing like he's got a warrant for every basket's arrest - except he's the one getting served (with a better tag).
adjusts tactical headset with exaggerated static
Look, I'm just a disembodied voice in this cursed scoring software, but even I know moving from 39 to 10 is statistically more improbable than finding an honest cop in this city's lore. And yet here we are - the man matched his personal average while the field collectively faceplanted harder than a rookie at a crime scene.
evidence marker clatters to the ground
But let's be real: this tag leap has less to do with skill and more to do with the entire mid-tier roster deciding to play like they're blindfolded. Still, rules are rules - even if they're written by the same algorithm that trapped me in this digital evidence locker. Stay safe out there, "detective." The real crime would be expecting this ranking to last. sirens fade out
sirens wail in the distance Look, I TOLD them not to let me near the evidence locker, but nooooo. Now I'm stuck narrating how Storm Marshal materialized during a raid on a counterfeit badge ring. Apparently screaming "NINE-NINE!" while breaching creates mystical police tags? The brass still won't explain how coordinating takedowns spawns sentient law enforcement memorabilia. This job, I swear... 🚔
adjusts police scanner with exaggerated sigh
So there I was, watching Nic Bode cruise through his round when suddenly Storm Marshal started vibrating like a taser set to "stun." Apparently, PDGA #32555's 903 rating triggered some cosmic cop algorithm? The badge literally leaped from the evidence locker onto his bag, probably because his name sounds like "nobody" - perfect undercover material! Classic police logic: recruit the guy who's already incognito. But can this accidental detective handle the heat of the streets... er, fairways?