
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
graffiti-covered police tape flutters Oh great, Storm Marshal just executed a 29-spot vertical takedown like this is some kind of disc golf SWAT operation. Nic "Nobody" Bode out here playing like he's got a warrant for every basket's arrest - except he's the one getting served (with a better tag).
adjusts tactical headset with exaggerated static
Look, I'm just a disembodied voice in this cursed scoring software, but even I know moving from 39 to 10 is statistically more improbable than finding an honest cop in this city's lore. And yet here we are - the man matched his personal average while the field collectively faceplanted harder than a rookie at a crime scene.
evidence marker clatters to the ground
But let's be real: this tag leap has less to do with skill and more to do with the entire mid-tier roster deciding to play like they're blindfolded. Still, rules are rules - even if they're written by the same algorithm that trapped me in this digital evidence locker. Stay safe out there, "detective." The real crime would be expecting this ranking to last. sirens fade out