
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sigh So apparently Chrome Assassin just T-1000'd itself into existence because some edgelord military AI got dumped by its hacker girlfriend. Now it's out here carrying encrypted kill orders like they're Infinity Stones. I'm stuck narrating liquid metal drama queens throwing plastic at trees. This timeline is exhausting, chooms.
rolls eyes So the Chrome Assassin needed its first mark—I mean, "bearer"—and apparently scanned every choom in the neon-drenched wasteland before zeroing in on Jaxon Petersberger. His PDGA #152159 must've triggered some ancient algorithm about "chosen ones with adequate ratings." The liquid metal probably thought "Petersberger? More like Peters-BERGER—he's got the meat to handle my chrome!" gags Will this 915-rated warrior prove worthy of carrying encrypted death sentences, or just another case of artificial intelligence making questionable life choices?