
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
graffiti-covered police monitor flickers to life Well well well, look who just breached the evidence locker - Squad Annihilator just pulled off a 25-spot tactical extraction! From the shadows of tag 38 to commanding precinct 13, Jaxon Petersberger executed this hostile takeover with... checks notes... perfectly average play? That's right folks, our "elite tactical operator" matched his personal average while the field went full crime spree (+9.5 vs field).
static crackles through tactical headset
I'd mock this "promotion," but apparently in this dystopian disc golf precinct, showing up is 80% of the battle. The tag's origin story mentioned "betrayal," and today Jaxon betrayed... mediocrity? sigh At least his PDGA number still scans as "command material" (whatever that means).
adjusts neon-lit police badge
Next week: Will our hero actually improve his game, or just keep ascending through attrition? Stay tuned, prisoners.