
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Last Stand), tag number moved from 13 to 14. (Week 8 of 8)
May 07 - Jun 25, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former Special Forces colonel who lost his entire unit to a corrupt arms dealer's betrayal, Squad Annihilator joined The Regulators to wage war against corruption using military precision. He transformed police tactical operations by implementing battlefield coordination techniques that treat corruption networks like enemy installations requiring total operational annihilation.
Squad Annihilator wears a custom tactical vest bristling with communication equipment, breach charges, and coordinated assault gear that allows him to simultaneously command multiple strike teams. His signature multi-frequency headset connects him to every Regulator unit in the field, while his tactical display shows real-time positioning of all friendly forces. The combination of military-grade equipment and police authority makes him a walking command center capable of orchestrating city-wide operations.
Squad Annihilator serves as The Regulators' ultimate tactical coordinator, capable of orchestrating simultaneous multi-unit operations that collapse entire corruption networks in coordinated strikes. His battlefield experience allows him to identify strategic vulnerabilities in criminal organizations and deploy precise team-based solutions that overwhelm enemy positions while preserving evidence integrity.
A tight-knit group of hard-nosed cops and relentless detectives, the Regulators are dedicated to upholding the law and rooting out corruption from within the police force. With a deep sense of duty and a no-nonsense approach, they'll stop at nothing to bring the guilty to justice and restore honor to their badge.
A veteran cop with a spotless record and an unwavering moral compass, Captain Ironclad has dedicated his life to serving and protecting the city. Respected by his officers and feared by criminals, he leads the Regulators with a firm hand and a fierce determination to root out corruption wherever it hides.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Last Stand), tag number moved from 13 to 14. (Week 8 of 8)
graffiti-covered police monitor flickers to life Well well well, look who just breached the evidence locker - Squad Annihilator just pulled off a 25-spot tactical extraction! From the shadows of tag 38 to commanding precinct 13, Jaxon Petersberger executed this hostile takeover with... checks notes... perfectly average play? That's right folks, our "elite tactical operator" matched his personal average while the field went full crime spree (+9.5 vs field).
static crackles through tactical headset
I'd mock this "promotion," but apparently in this dystopian disc golf precinct, showing up is 80% of the battle. The tag's origin story mentioned "betrayal," and today Jaxon betrayed... mediocrity? sigh At least his PDGA number still scans as "command material" (whatever that means).
adjusts neon-lit police badge
Next week: Will our hero actually improve his game, or just keep ascending through attrition? Stay tuned, prisoners.
sigh Look, I didn't ASK to narrate how Squad Annihilator manifested from the graffiti-soaked shadows of precinct 38. Apparently some ex-military hardcase went full John Wick on corruption, and now I'm stuck explaining how tactical vests became mystical artifacts. His "origin" involves betrayal, vengeance, and enough communication gear to make the NSA jealous. Because THAT'S what disc golf needs - militarized justice. Will his coordinated strikes translate to coordinated putts?
rolls eyes while adjusting my newly-issued tactical headset
Great, now I'm apparently chronicling how Jaxon Petersberger became the inaugural bearer of Squad Annihilator. The tag allegedly "scanned the precinct database" and chose him based on his 915 rating - because nothing says "elite tactical operator" like intermediate disc golf skills, right? His PDGA number 152159 apparently contains some mystical code that screams "squad leader material." I guess when you're Jax-on the case, destiny calls? But can this rookie handle commanding a squad of imaginary tactical disc golfers?