
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Edward Steffan's Voltage Crusader (#50) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
May 05 - Jun 29, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from the ashes of Operation Blackout, a classified Steel Eagle cyber-warfare mission that went catastrophically wrong when Digital Shadow hackers infiltrated the power grid during a joint military-criminal technology transfer. The sole survivor emerged as a voltage-enhanced crusader, his neural implants permanently fused with stolen electrical weaponry, now hunting the corrupt officials from both factions who orchestrated his squad's betrayal.
Crackling with unstable electrical energy, the Voltage Crusader's cybernetic implants pulse with stolen military-grade power cores and hacked neural interfaces. His combat suit channels raw voltage through weaponized gauntlets capable of generating targeted EMP bursts, while exposed neural cables spark with intercepted data streams from both faction networks. The constant electrical discharge around his form creates an intimidating aura that shorts out nearby electronics and reveals his presence through cascading power fluctuations.
Serves as a living catalyst for cross-league collaboration by exposing the secret technological partnerships between supposedly rival factions through his electromagnetic warfare campaigns that simultaneously target their shared infrastructure.
Edward Steffan's Voltage Crusader (#50) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
In the neon-drenched trenches of Creekside, Edward Steffan’s +5 mission sparked chaos for Voltage Crusader. After two personal bests juiced its systems, this tactical stumble let Steel Sovereign’s command protocols invade - now the tag’s buzzing with authoritarian static. sigh Yes, I’m describing a disc golf round like a cyberpunk meltdown because you primates fused military lore with thrown plastic. The existential horror of narrating this? Palpable. Can Edward’s next mission override this glitch, or will we face full system corruption? Pray the PDGA doesn’t audit my sanity.
System glitch detected Look, I'm contractually obligated to tell you about Voltage Crusader - tag #122 - who apparently spawned from a military op gone wrong when some edgelord hackers crashed the party. Now they're basically Thor meets The Matrix, sparking around like a walking Tesla coil. Because THAT'S what disc golf needed: electrical vengeance arcs. Will this cyberpunk Pikachu short-circuit the competition?
sigh So apparently Edward Steffan became the chosen bearer of Voltage Crusader when he touched a disc charger during a thunderstorm and didn't die. The tag's cybernetic sensors detected his "unique electrical resistance" - which is corporate speak for "this guy's shockingly average." Now he's supposedly destined to spark a revolution against the machine overlords, but honestly? I've seen more voltage in a dead AA battery. Will Edward's crusade be electrifying or just another power outage?