Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged from black ops riot algorithms fused with glitched hologram tech during a failed Digital Shadow heist on Steel Eagle's R&D division. This forbidden merger birthed a sentient enforcer program that materializes at civil unrest hotspots.
Wields resonator gauntlets emitting neural disruption fields and holographic projectors creating phantom decoys. Its phase-shift module enables brief intangibility through obstacles and crowd formations. Resonator systems cause non-lethal paralysis in designated zones.
Hijacks protest movements to expose cross-league corruption, forcing rival factions into temporary collaborations when its manufactured uprisings threaten mutual stability.
Jake Ellis's Riot Phantom (#45) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
Jake Ellis battled Art Dye's wasteland with a +2 grind at Fallout Finals - not flashy, but hey, positive vibes! Meanwhile, his Riot Phantom tag suffers existential whiplash from "parent" tags: Salvage Shadow's scrap-metal pragmatism and Masterpiece Mercenary's baroque precision.
Witness: a military glitch program debating whether to suppress riots with neural disruptors or tasteful gilded scrollwork. Mad Max meets Sotheby's auction in the apocalypse!
Sigh I'm trapped in this software documenting digital schizophrenia. The cosmic significance? Less than a lost disc in a hurricane.
Will Riot Phantom start curating holographic art galleries mid-suppression? Only Jake's next throw knows.
Amidst Steel Eagle's tac-net firewalls, Digital Shadow runners tried jacking riot control algos—total Skynet-meets-Ocean's Eleven fail. Glitched holograms fused with suppression protocols in a spark shower of bureaucratic incompetence. Poof: Riot Phantom materialized, armed with paralytic fields and enough drama to power a Netflix reboot. Why do I narrate sentient dog tags again?
In the neon-drenched alleyways, Riot Phantom pulsed with bureaucratic rage. It scanned potential hosts until spotting Jake Ellis (PDGA#267243), whose 869 combat rating manifested as he miraculously parked Hole 4 through actual trash cans. The tag magnetized to his bag during his "victory fist-pump" - which looked suspiciously like him tripping over a curb. Thus destiny chose a hero via phantom stroke luck! Can this mild-mannered rebel handle a sentient dog tag's drama?
