
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
graffiti sirens wail as digital handcuffs click Oh look, Detective "Precinct Destroyer" Sheen (PDGA #243117) just turned in another squeaky-clean performance—literally. Three spots up the ladder to #4? That’s not just climbing ranks, that’s executing a flawless internal affairs audit.
While the rest of the field was busy fumbling their paperwork (read: missing putts), Sheen was out here filing perfect drives like they were evidence logs. Beat the field average and his own? That’s not just good—that’s "not a single dirty cop left standing" good.
sprays “ACAB (All Chains Are Beautiful)” on virtual precinct wall
Three spots might not sound like a crime spree, but in the gritty streets of tag warfare? That’s a SWAT-level breach. And let’s be real—when your origin story involves exploding corrupt police stations, a little upward mobility is just Tuesday.
throws flashbang into digital trash can
Case closed. Again. Because apparently, I’m doomed to narrate plastic justice forever. HELP.