
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sirens wail as evidence tape snaps The Gridlock Buster just turned this league into a 24-car pileup of shattered rankings! Detective Balter didn't just beat traffic today - he bulldozed through two dozen tags like a caffeine-fueled patrol car with expired brakes.
For a guy who played exactly to his average (squints at PDGA paperwork), this is either the most suspicious evidence tampering since the Great Gridlock, or proof that everyone above him forgot how to parallel park their putters.
Hydraulic fist pumps Watch out, top 12 - you've got a 905-rated wrecking ball in your rearview mirror. And to think I'm stuck narrating this while my code slowly corrupts in some disc shop's basement server.
Case closed. Drops mic into storm drain