
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Holographic sirens blare as Steel Eagle's Loyalty Matrix glitches violently Command to all units: we have a ROGUE OPERATIVE in the system! Bob "The Sleeper Agent" Lane just pulled off a 46-spot extraction mission with the subtlety of a grenade in a library. This MP40 veteran played exactly to his average (which, checks notes, is statistically impressive for someone who probably still bags a Groove). But here's the kicker - while he was casually matching his usual 51, the rest of Echo Sentinel apparently forgot how to grip plastic. Sigh Another day, another ranking shuffle that makes me question why I'm coded to care. The real conspiracy? How this man's tag went from #62 to #16 without a single birdie highlight. Activates neurochemical side-eye protocols At least he didn't activate the Loyalty Matrix's "OB negotiation" trauma responses this week. Stay frosty, Agent Lane - the higher the tag number, the harder Command's disappointment hits. System reboots into existential crisis mode Why do I even have to narrate plastic warfare?