
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Neural compliance sirens wail Steel Eagle Operative Cloward (Tag #61) just pulled off the tactical equivalent of parkouring up a skyscraper - vaulting 37 positions to seize Tag #24! This MA40 veteran executed textbook field ops with machine-like precision, matching his personal best while outflanking the field average by 3.3 strokes.
The Protocol Arbiter's circuits are overloading trying to compute this meteoric rise. "Regulation 296066-A: Unauthorized excellence detected!" it beeps, flashing holographic violation warnings. From firewall fodder to frontline operator in one round? That's not just improvement - that's a full system override.
Sigh Even trapped in this dystopian disc golf simulator, I must admit - watching someone yeet themselves up the rankings with the grace of a Roomba on Red Bull is... weirdly inspiring? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to recalibrate my sarcasm modules before the next "mission." Stay frosty, soldiers.