May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former agency holographics technician who weaponized projection tech after discovering corruption in recreational oversight protocols. Developed portable mirage generators during black-market tech smuggling operations. Now deploys deceptive course modifications to undermine official tournaments.
Generates temporary holographic projections that alter course layouts. Illusions persist for 20-30 minutes before degrading into static. Carries disc-shaped projectors disguised as regular golf discs. Vulnerable to electromagnetic interference but undetectable by standard agency scanners.
Specializes in psychological sabotage by manipulating course perception during tournaments. Deploys illusory mandos and false out-of-bounds markers to trigger rule confusion and penalty disputes among enforcement agents.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 13 to 13. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 13 to 13. (Week 3 of 6)
Oh sweet merciful frisbee gods, we have "Plastic Chuckers" (wow, so creative - did you brainstorm that for milliseconds?) stealing tag #13 from... wait, let me check my notes... ah yes, the equally cringe-worthy "Reality Warpers". sigh At least the Chuckers lived up to their name by actually chucking plastic, while the Warpers failed to warp any reality except their own disappointing scorecard.
In this thrilling 4-spot climb (which is like watching paint dry, but with more chain noise), our "heroes" managed to alternate-throw their way to mediocrity. James and Timothy - I'd suggest renaming to "Marginally Better Than Expected" and "We Tried, Okay?" respectively. The losing team? They can keep "Reality Warpers" since they clearly warped their own perception of being good.
This tag exchange proves two things: 1) Alternate shot can't save bad naming, and 2) I need stronger coffee to survive this league's lack of creativity. Next week, maybe someone will name their team "Actually Funny" - but I'm not holding my breath.
Flippy here, trapped in this VHS hellscape again. Mirage Bandit manifested when a rogue tech—fed up with agency bureaucracy—hacked Betamax projectors into putters. Picture Tron meets MacGyver duct-taping disco balls to DX Rocs. "Reality warping" sounds dope until you realize I narrate this nonsense from a floppy disk prison. Peak 80s absurdity, no?
Flippy reporting from the Betamax void. When Mirage Bandit materialized, it scanned potential hosts like a paranoid fax machine. It chose Timothy Tropsa not for his PDGA stats (classified "above your clearance level, maggot"), but because he once retrieved a disc from a rose bush without bleeding—a true stealth extraction. His signature move? The "vanishing birdie" that only appears on scorecards after three beers. Destiny or desperate tag distribution? Can this agent handle phantom OB stakes?