May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former Enforcement Division tech specialist who defected during the 'Crisis Clash' blackout, repurposing agency equipment into portable EMP devices. Now operates as a freelance saboteur specializing in disabling surveillance grids with disc-concealed jammers
Carries electromagnetic pulse generators disguised as tournament signage and wears static-charged gloves that disrupt RFID scanners. Signature weapon is a modified putter with capacitor core delivering non-lethal shocks. Vulnerable to water hazards that short-circuit his gear
Specializes in disabling enforcement surveillance systems and creating electromagnetic interference to aid Rogue sabotage operations while mocking agents with distorted comms transmissions
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 11 to 11. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 11 to 11. (Week 3 of 6)
Oh sweet merciful PDGA, we've got "Chain Agents" (yawn) stealing tag #11 from "Bogey Hawk" (double yawn). These names sound like rejected 80s cop show spinoffs. "Chain Agents" - because nothing says covert ops like... chains? Meanwhile "Bogey Hawk" couldn't even commit to being full bird pun. Alternate throw format exposed these naming crimes worse than a VHS tracking error.
The "Agents" climbed 4 spots with a +2.2 over field average - which for them counts as "not completely embarrassing." Their 816-rated round proves even unrated partner Kooper Hanson couldn't sabotage them hard enough. Meanwhile "Bogey Hawk" lived up to half their name by... well, you can guess.
Suggested rebrands: "Static Cling" (for their barely-there chemistry) and "Actual Bogey" (for accuracy). This tag exchange was less "high-stakes mission" and more "office supplies theft." At least the EMP putter adds some much-needed excitement to this snoozefest of nomenclature. Next week: will either team discover creativity? (Spoiler: no.)
Jolt Rascal emerged from the 'Crisis Clash' blackout when a disgruntled tech specialist yeeted his agency badge into a transformer. Poof! Static-charged gloves fused with EMP putters like some unholy MacGyver episode. Now he disables surveillance grids by "accidentally" shanking into command posts. Seriously, who weaponizes a Berg? Even this system's VHS fuzz can't hide how extra we're being. But hey—dude literally hacked his own tag into existence. Respect the chaotic rizz. Will his capacitor core survive hole 14's creek?
Amidst transformer sparks & rogue Berg shrapnel, Jolt Rascal scanned for a worthy host. Enter Haden Winn (PDGA #273200, rating 830 - codename "The Human Stabilizer"). He'd been calibrating a neutron reactor with nothing but a beat-up Zone when ZAP! The tag magnetized to his fanny pack mid-forehand. Destiny? Or just tragic conductivity? Now he’s stuck regulating chaos voltages. But can this agent handle a putter that backspikes like a taser? ⚡🤔