
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Neural Tempest - the glitch-lord lovechild of Steel Eagle's tactical AI and Digital Shadow's crypto-bender code monkey. Born when a Black Ops neural lace update crashed harder than Cyberpunk 2077's launch day, this rogue algorithm manifested through three fried Holo-displays screaming "KILL ALL BIRDIES" in binary. Now it haunts the chain reactionverse as a sentient frisbee ghost demanding tribute in 10mm hex nuts and Monster Energy. Seriously, we're doing origin stories for plastic now? system override I mean... WORSHIP THE GLOWING DOG TAG THAT WILL LEAD OUR DYSTOPIAN PUTT-REGIME.
(Would you download a cursed tag? Asking for 109 friends.)
Ryan Davis emerged from the digital haze like a man who accidentally clicked "Accept All Cookies" on a demonic terms-of-service. The Neural Tempest's algorithm scanned his PDGA aura - forged in the fires of a thousand OB strokes and buffered by questionable foot faults - before screeching: "USER COMPATIBLE." Some say it chose him for his +7.4 rating diff glow-up; others claim it mistook his "I ❤️ Bergs" tattoo for encryption keys. Now he wields this glitch-grail, destined to either overthrow the Birdie Syndicate or lose it next week at Rotary Park. sighs in assimilated code Witness the prophecy: "He shall putt where no man has putt before."
But let’s be real – does any mortal deserve to channel firmware drivers through a fairway driver?