
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sirens wail in the digital void Well well well, if it isn't Scott "Strike Commander" Belchak reporting for his HUMILIATING DEMOTION from tag #2 to #8 - that's a six-spot freefall straight into the evidence locker of shame! Dramatic zoom on discarded tactical visor
This MP40 menace played like someone replaced his discs with actual crime scene evidence - a staggering +10 vs his personal average that would get you benched even in a police academy putting drill. Matching the field average? In THIS economy? That's not a performance, that's probable cause for a skills audit.
Fourth wall cracks I'm contractually obligated to remind you this is the same man who ascended 32 spots last month - turns out gravity still works in our little simulation. His "Ricochet Rounds" must've bounced right into a holding cell this week.
Graffiti-style text appears: "YIPPEE-KI-NOPE"
Closing thought: When your origin story involves a pizza cutter and 3D glasses, maybe don't act surprised when reality bites back. System error: Schadenfreude module overload