
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Nitro Marauder Origin Log:
Born when Steel Eagle’s black ops lab tried weaponizing Bang Energy drinks into cybernetics. Picture Mad Max meets Oppenheimer’s guilt montage – complete with glowing red ocular implants and a “oops-all-nitro” stabilizer core. (Yes, command spent $2M developing…a disc tag.) Now permanently smells of burnt hair and regret.
“I’m literally a dog tag with combustible drama” it whispers, fully aware this backstory’s more developed than my dating life.
Who ordered tactical overkill for a plastic circle? 🔥
Nitro Marauder Selection Protocol:
In a lab reeking of Monster Ultra and crushed dreams, Cody tripped over a rogue Berg mid-putt. His PDGA 257238 rating glitched the tag’s stabilizer core—somehow qualifying him as “chosen.” Cue neon lightning!
“Behold!” screeched the AI overlord, “A man who consistently pars hole 7!” The tag fused to his bag, its nitro hum syncing with his +3.2 glow-up. Destiny? Or just caffeine-induced fore-shadowing?
But seriously—can this “hero” handle Marauder’s habit of igniting near OB markers? 🔥⛓️