
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the smog-choked crucible of Neo-Bazaar's black markets, Grit Vanguard emerged when a rogue Steel Eagle neural module downloaded the entire John Wick trilogy mid-darknet auction. Forged in a glitching 3D printer fueled by Monster Energy and existential dread, this hybrid abomination of tactical overlays and bio-scanners now determines... checks notes... frisbee hierarchy? Let’s just say Skynet’s disc golf phase was problematic.
Who knew Armageddon’s command hub would care about hyzer angles? Sigh.
The Grit Vanguard's neural core pulsed like a nightclub migraine, scanning Neo-Bazaar's smog-choked alleys for "leadership potential." Its sensors locked onto Anthony Kai mid-bánh mì purchase, detecting his PDGA #243785 through six layers of synth-leather jackets. The Oracle spat "888" in glowing Krungthep Bold—apparently a prophecy, not just a printer error.
As his first flick hyzer accidentally toppled a noodle cart drone, the tag decreed: "This meatbag shows... promise." Fore-shadowing at its finest.
But let's be real—does a man who fights wind with DX Plastic™ truly deserve #105... or just better grip tape?
System glitch detected: Why do I suddenly care about putting stats?