
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Holographic distress signals flicker violently
"OPERATION: FRACTURED ALLEGIANCE COMPROMISED" screams through Steel Eagle's neural net as Anthony Kai suffers a 19-rank freefall from #14 to #33. His spinal interface isn't just sparking—it's full-on welding itself shut after that +12.5 vs personal average performance. That's not a round, that's a war crime against par.
Statistically? This was the disc golf equivalent of forgetting your safety was off. +10.2 vs field average means he basically threw grenades at his own feet while yelling "TACTICAL ADVANTAGE!" The tac-net claims this is "predictive neural modulation correcting rank inflation." I claim someone check if his discs were replaced with actual dinner plates.
Glitches through firewall
"Nineteen spots? That's not a bad round, that's the algorithm putting you on a watchlist. But sure, let's pretend this wasn't just the universe balancing last week's drunken ranking generosity."
Next objective: Explaining to #34 why they're now ranked above a guy whose highlight reel includes "successfully losing to a tree." End transmission.