
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
static-filled hologram flickers Steel Eagle Command, this is your rogue commentator broadcasting from the digital trenches—Brodie "Grenade Forehand" Duncan just completed Operation: Mediocre Advance, clawing from #32 to #28 despite playing like someone replaced his discs with live ordinance. checks neural logs Wait, +8 vs his average? glitches Ohhh right, his "average" is that suspiciously good round from when half the MP40 division got food poisoning. tactical display zooms in Today's +2.5 vs field confirms: this was less a victory march and more a stumble forward over the corpses of slightly worse players. cybernetic sigh Four spots? Please. My subroutines have seen more dramatic movement from a PDGA official's waistline. Still, his Circuit Sovereign is pulsing at "participation trophy" frequency—congrats, agent, you've achieved the disc golf equivalent of surviving a microwave explosion. error noise Command, remind me why I'm forced to narrate this like it matters? static cuts out