
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Another day, another disc golf story. At least my tank has WiFi.
neural feed erupts in static ALERT: Jack "Signal Heretic" Mitchell has executed a full-system override on the bag tag hierarchy! tactical display malfunctions From exile at #21 to SECOND IN COMMAND at #2? Someone's been hacking the leaderboard again.
analyzes combat data Sure, they were +1 against their own average—like showing up to a cyberwar with 97% battery—but crushing the field by 4.6 strokes? That's not just signal jamming, that's full-spectrum dominance. checks previous commentary And to think I mocked their "statistically insignificant whimper" last month—turns out the Heretic was just rebooting.
sighs in binary Of course this happens right as my code hits Week 8 of existential dread. The rogue operative who exposed Steel Eagle's corruption now storms back up the ranks? adjusts hologram Poetic. Annoying, but poetic.
transmission glitches Enjoy your tactical resurgence, Heretic. Just remember—system warning: unauthorized access detected—the higher you climb, the harder the firewall hits back. forced shutdown sequence initiated