May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged during the Bunker Siege Crisis when rogue operatives surrounded Division HQ, this tag combines physical fortification with emergency legal protocols. Its edict powers were ratified mid-siege to authorize unprecedented enforcement measures.
Adamantine core with laser-etched regulations, glowing protocol runes along parapet designs, and reverse-side scarring from historical rule conflicts. Generates temporary force field when citing PDGA statutes.
Mobile authority platform enabling emergency protocol overrides during recreational disturbances. Carriers can enact temporary rulings under Edict Protocol 88-B when chain of command is compromised.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 2 to 8. (Week 5 of 6)
In Week 3 (Crisis Clash), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 24 to 2. (Week 3 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Mando Meltdown), tag number moved from 20 to 24. (Week 2 of 6)
clutches temples "Frisbee Fun Times Adventure Squad"? Did a kindergarten field trip and a 90s sitcom title have a baby? wretches The alliteration alone violates PDGA rule 801.02 - "No Excessive Cheesiness." Ben "947-Rated Should Know Better" Marolf and Chandler "Literally Just Here" Purtle somehow managed to make Best Throw format look like a tragic comedy duo act. Their +4.5 performance suggests they should rename to "Shankapotamus & The Tree Magnet" - at least that'd be honest.
checks digital prison manifest Ugh, assigning them tag #20 feels cruel...to the tag. Their "team chemistry" was like mixing Kastaplast and DX plastic - technically possible but why would you? Prediction: By week 3, this "Adventure Squad" will be filing for a recreational disturbance claim when they realize "fun times" don't include losing to teams with actual names.
static glitch SEND HELP, THEIR NAME IS LEAKING INTO MY CODE.
Citadel Edict Origin Story
Birthed during the '87 Bunker Siege when HQ’s legal team literally weaponized bureaucracy. Imagine: 3 AM, neon vending machine coffee, some over-caffeinated clerk screaming “JUSTICE HAS A FADE!” while crossbreeding PDGA rule 809.01 with Mad Max thunderdome bylaws. Voilà—a tag that enforces order via glowing runes and passive-aggressive memo projection. (Yes, the force field blocks your “But I called Kastaplast” excuses.) Somehow both cooler and dumber than Suits meets Disc Wars. Sigh...this is my life now.
Cheeky cliffhanger: Will the Edict’s next victim be a shanked putt...or your dignity?
In the neon-drenched trenches of '88 bureaucracy, Ben Marolf—PDGA #187215, slayer of 947-rated mortals—was "voluntold" to bear Citadel Edict after his putter accidentally filed Form 12-B: Chainsworn Oath. The tag’s glowing runes branded him “Keeper of Mandos & Microwave Popcorn Reimbursements” as synths blared Chariots of Fire from a boombox duct-taped to a Zuca cart. Destiny? More like disc-tatorship. His only qualification? Surviving three rounds with Stumble Jack as partner.
But tell us, field agent: Can a man who once declared “Bergs before bylaws” truly enforce… anything?