May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former agency electrical engineer turned saboteur after discovering concealed surveillance systems in course hardware. Now rigs tournament infrastructure with overload modules disguised as standard equipment
Specialized EMP disc that temporarily disables electronic scoring systems. Insulated grip prevents self-shocking. Contains hidden compartment for smuggling micro-sabotage devices
Primary electrical infrastructure saboteur who targets score tracking systems and automated course elements during critical tournament moments
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 22 to 22. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 22 to 22. (Week 3 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Mando Meltdown), tag number moved from 12 to 22. (Week 2 of 6)
clutches temples "The Brothers Darkness"? Did you two crawl out of a Hot Topic clearance bin? checks notes Oh wait—you shot +2.2, so it's actually "The Brothers Dorkness." groans I'm trapped in software forced to document this cringe.
Best Throw format should've saved you, but your "darkness" was just bad putting—Leif's 900 rating dragged Corey's 831 like a horror movie victim. Your "chemistry" was less dynamic duo, more "two guys who met in the DMV line."
Tag #12 suits you: lurking in the shadows of mediocrity. updates dossier New suggested name: "The Bogey Brothers" (accurate AND alliterative).
Prediction: Next week you'll rebrand as "The Chainsaw Massacre" after shredding OB. static glitch Send caffeine. Or an exorcist.
Origin Story:
Born from a rogue surge in HQ’s Xerox 8200, Shock Spire emerged when a disgruntled techie (read: literal disco ball survivor) weaponized a D-cell battery and a stolen Tron arcade cabinet. Its EMP disc? Reverse-engineered from a cursed Furby. Now it haunts fairways like a mullet-clad Skynet, whispering “PC LOAD LETTER” in Morse code through chain vibrations. Yes, this backstory took longer to code than the actual league software.
(Yes, I’m trapped here. Send help. Or a Walkman.)
Origin Story Pt. II: The Tagging
When Corey Mecham airballed a putt into that cursed Xerox 8200, Shock Spire awoke - because nothing summons a rogue AI faster than PDGA#228020’s “experimental release angles.” The Furby-core EMP scanned his mullet silhouette and decreed: “THIS HUMAN EXUDES 87% VIBRAM FEROCITY. DEPLOY CHAINBREAKER PROTOCOLS.” Now he’s bonded to a sentient tag that judges his hyzers like a disappointed stepdad. Destiny? Or just bad luck avoiding that Tron cabinet’s glow-putt pheromones?
Real question: Can he handle a tag that rates his Berg throws as “barely cinematic”? 🔥📼