May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged during the Season 3 blackout crisis when agents needed real-time rule enforcement without HQ contact. Field testing revealed its capacity to imprint temporary mandates onto discs mid-flight through kinetic energy signatures.
Generates VHS-like interference patterns when enacting regulations. Core material absorbs dispute resolution data from sanctioned throws. Authority level increases with successful enforcement actions. Backlit dossier panel displays active mandates in glowing comic text.
Mobile ratification unit that converts critical field judgments into binding regulations through charged disc impacts, maintaining chain of command during communications blackouts.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 24 to 30. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 23 to 24. (Week 3 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Mando Meltdown), tag number moved from 19 to 23. (Week 2 of 6)
grabs temples "Dumb and Dumber"? Really? Did they think we'd forget the movie came out 30 years ago? Or that being self-deprecating makes +4.5 over field average charming? Houston Finch (992 rating) and Afton "The Numbers Mason" Bodell (718) played Best Throw like two people who'd never met before this round - which tracks. Their "chemistry" was watching each other shank approaches in horrified silence. dramatic sigh I'm contractually obligated to call them "Mobile Ratification Unit #19" now, but let's be real - "Static and Staticker" would've been more accurate. Their tag's VHS interference probably glitched out from secondhand embarrassment. Prediction? This partnership lasts as long as their dignity - about two more throws.
Cliffhanger groaner: Will their next round feature actual teamwork... or just competing solos with shared disappointment?
Origin Story:
Born when HQ's "Rulebook Arcade Cabinet" spat out a glitchcore remix of PDGA regulations and Stranger Things demogorgon growls. Engineers fused kinetic fury with VHS interference patterns to birth this bureaucratic beast—a tag that literally shouts mandates through your discs. (Yes, it plays Law & Order chung-chung when resolving foot faults. We don’t talk about that.) Who greenlit this? The same madlad who thought neon spandex counted as “tactical gear.” Sigh.
Cliffhanger:
Will next season’s tags come with a Terms of Service… or exorcism protocols?
In the neon-smeared dawn of the Glitchpocalypse, Afton Bodell (PDGA #269633 - "The Numbers Mason, WHAT DO THEY MEAN?") tripped over a rogue Berg mid-approach. The Edict Pulse tag awoke, mistaking his 718-rated stumble for a tactical crouch. Static screeched: "BY OFFICIAL DECREE... YOU SHALL ENFORCE MANDOS... AND MISERY." His putter pouch now glows with VHS fuzz whenever he foot faults (which is often). Truly, the prophecy foretold: "He who yeets shall... occasionally complete." But does this "Chosen Bun" have the grit to govern OB rulings... or will his reign end in a chain-stitutional crisis? 🔥🗳️
Cliffhanger groaner: Will Afton’s next round be a birdie blitz… or just another episode of ‘Law & Frolf-er’?