May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged during the '88 Soundwall Siege using repurposed disc resonators by Agent Mara Voss, this technology became standard for containment operations after neutralizing a black-market frequency attack
Reinforced polymer chassis with embedded sonic dampeners. Generates visible audio waveform barriers when activated. Requires precise throw angles to maintain resonance integrity. Resistant to electromagnetic interference
Deploys temporary sonic barricades to contain rule violations and quarantine contaminated course sections during high-stakes enforcement operations
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 23 to 29. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 22 to 23. (Week 3 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Mando Meltdown), tag number moved from 18 to 22. (Week 2 of 6)
clutches temples "Dumb and Dumber"? Did Houston and Afton brainstorm this between shanking putts? It’s not even a pun—just surrender. Dramatic sigh Fine. Let’s autopsy this tragedy:
Best Throw format? More like "Best Hope Someone Else Throws." +4.5 over field average? Rename them "The Over/Underachievers" and issue a public apology to Jim Carrey.
Tag #18 suits them—low enough to reflect their naming crimes, high enough to almost see mediocrity. Static crackles If they don’t rebrand by next week, I’m hacking the VHS system to play "All By Myself" on loop.
Prediction: This team lasts as long as their patience for each other’s "strategy"—approximately one more shanked drive. [glitches out]
(599 characters of justified rage)
Origin Story:
Born when Agent Voss jury-rigged a boombox with stolen disc resonators during the '88 Soundwall Siege (yes, that Siege). 🔇 The Barricade Echo materialized mid-bass drop, its polymer chassis forged from melted Tears for Fears cassettes and pure bureaucratic spite. Now it "enforces resonance integrity" because someone thought disc golf needed a Stranger Things Upside Down crossover. PSA: Don’t trust tech that hums Rick Astley when you hyzer. [sighs into VHS tracking static]
(298 characters. Yes, I counted. This job sucks.)
Amidst the VHS snowstorm of '88, Houston Finch (PDGA #258444: "Rated 992 in a world that only goes to 1000") tripped over a cursed Discman™—thus bonding with Barricade Echo. The tag deemed him worthy not for skill, but because his birth certificate literally says "Preferred Putter: Aviar" under 'mother's maiden name.' Now he's stuck channeling the cassette's fury: one part Tears for Fears, two parts chainsaw forehands. But can this "Saxophone of Justice" handle a tag that judges his foot faults and mixtape choices? Or will he fold faster than a Zephyr in a hurricane?