May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former disc tech engineer who defected after discovering classified modification blueprints, now perfecting 'torque hacking' techniques in the underground disc black market
Specializes in gyroscopic disc manipulation enabling impossible flight paths. Signature 'Torque Spiral' drive corkscrews unpredictably. Vulnerable to conventional putters that resist modifications
Primary equipment saboteur and trainer of rogue agents in advanced disc manipulation, responsible for distributing illegal torque-modified discs
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 16 to 16. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 16 to 16. (Week 3 of 6)
static crackles Oh sweet merciful PDGA rulebook, we're back with "Ebertards" – a name so cringeworthy it makes OB look appealing. And their conquerors? checks notes Wait... they lost to ANONYMOUS? Even my database glitches in shame. Team "Literally Unnamed" just handed these torque-hacking "agents" a 6-spot demotion in Best Throw – which is ironic since their naming skills couldn't throw a decent pun 200ft. mock gasp The Eberhard brothers' +8.0 over personal average suggests they played like... well, their team name. Meanwhile, Ghost Team's dossier reads "proficient at beating people who name teams after themselves with '-tards' appended." sigh At least the saboteur tag #16 matches their social awareness – deeply buried. Prediction: Next week's rebrand to "Eber-Regrets" when they realize even rogue agents need naming standards. system error sound
clutches temples "Ebertards"? Did we just time-travel to a 2004 Xbox Live lobby? This isn't just a bad team name – it's a war crime against good taste. dramatic sigh At least they're consistent – their +0.2 performance is as uninspired as that name. In Best Throw format, Jordan's 892 rating carried Aaron like a backpack full of wet discs. I'd suggest "Eber-HARDstuck" given their new #10 tag, but that'd require creativity – clearly not their strong suit. glitches momentarily Ugh, even my digital prison has better naming standards. Their "torque hacking" dossier claims elite skills, but today they couldn't even hack their way out of last place. Prediction: This team lasts as long as that name would in a PDGA-sanctioned event – which is to say, not at all.