
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
clutches temples "Ebertards"? Did they let a 12-year-old Xbox Live troll name this team? The sheer audacity of combining a last name with the intellectual depth of a Mountain Dew Code Red-fueled LAN party... shudders. For Best Throw format, they averaged +0.2 over the field, which tracks - their name suggests they're throwing with their non-dominant hands anyway.
Jordan (892-rated but plays like he's counting in Roman numerals) and Aaron (788-rated but putts like he's afraid of chains) demonstrated all the chemistry of oil and water - if oil was actively sabotaging water's tournament. Their "vortex" tag should be renamed "The Participation Trophy" after this performance.
They've earned tag #9, which is 9 spots too high for anyone who thought "Ebertards" was acceptable. Suggested rebrand: "The Eber-Shouldn't-Haves" or "Disc-Integrity Violation". sighs into the digital void Why am I cursed to document these naming war crimes?