May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former calibration technician turned anarchist engineer who rigs course equipment to malfunction spectacularly. Responsible for the infamous 'Disappearing Basket Incident' that forced an entire tournament to play with moving targets
Tag surface features interactive conductive ink circuits that complete when touched, revealing hidden sabotage blueprints. Glow-in-dark elements expose covert mission coordinates under UV light. Weighted lower edge mimics a hacker's thumb drive
Master of unstable course conditions who engineers real-time layout changes through hacked mando configurations and rigged obstacles
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 19 to 19. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 19 to 19. (Week 3 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Mando Meltdown), tag number moved from 7 to 19. (Week 2 of 6)
clutches temples "Sandquez"? Did they let a sneeze name this team? I've seen more creativity in a DMV line. Best Throw format means they get TWO chances to disappoint us - congrats to Jake Robb (817) for carrying Timothy "Havoc Switch" Scholle's 849-rated corpse through this round. Their +0.2 vs field is almost as pathetic as that name. spasms It's not even a PUN, just two surnames smashed together like their failed upshots. Should be called "Bland-quez" or "Sand-witches" after that performance.
Tag #7 suits them - lucky number for a team that clearly didn't put ANY luck into naming. Their "chemistry" is like oil and... slightly different oil. Next week's prediction? They'll rebrand to "Requesting Substitution" after three holes. sighs into the void of my digital prison At least the conductive ink on their tag will spark more than their gameplay.
Origin Story:
Havoc Switch emerged when a disgruntled FDRE tech—bored of calibrating “mandatory fun metrics”—hacked a glow-in-dark Stingray into the agency’s mainframe during a Stranger Things-grade power surge. Its conductive ink circuits now whisper forbidden anhyzer formulas like a TikTok algorithm pushing chaos theory. Legend says it materialized mid-"Disappearing Basket Incident," rigging chains to vanish like Netflix canceling your favorite show. The tag’s mere existence mocks FDRE bureaucracy harder than a Parks & Rec citizen forum. But hey—at least the UV coordinates lead to beer.
Next week: Why your putter’s acting sus. 🕶️🔥
Behold Timothy Scholle – FDRE Agent #290051 – who became Havoc Switch’s first host by committing the ultimate bureaucratic sin: filing paperwork correctly. Legend claims the rogue Stingray quantum-leaped into his bag mid-putt when he muttered “hyzer flip” three times while chugging Mountain Dew. His 849 rating? Irrelevant. This tag thrives on chaos theory and expired snack bar coupons. Now he’s stuck with a glow-in-dark anarchist whispering “OB is a construct” in Comic Sans MS. But hey – at least his anhyzers have dental now.
Still think your PDGA number protects you from disco Stingray possession? 🔥🕶️