
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 27 to 33. (Week 5 of 6)
May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former tactical engineer retrofitted from dam construction corps. Designed the agency's first anti-sabotage basket locks during '86 Mando Crisis. Now deploys customized containment solutions that foil 97.3% of recreational disturbances through sheer structural superiority.
Industrial-grade titanium badge holster with six-point locking mechanism. Contains shock-absorbent polymer core rated for 500kg shear force. Permanent "APPROVED CONTAINMENT" stamp across lower quadrant. Generates audible 80Hz hum when detecting nearby rule breaches.
Deploys customized security countermeasures during tournaments. Specializes in fortifying vulnerable course elements against sabotage through rapid infrastructure hardening protocols.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 27 to 33. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 27 to 27. (Week 3 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Mando Meltdown), tag number moved from 23 to 27. (Week 2 of 6)
clutches temples "Ace Holes"? Did they brainstorm that between missed 15-footers and gas station taquitos? This Best Throw duo of Brandon "Flex Seal Hero" Voyles and Steven "Unrated Disaster" Anderson shot +5.3 like they were aiming for the other kind of hole. Their "chemistry" was watching each other shank forehands in perfect sync. wipes VHS static tears Lock Titan's 80Hz hum was just it screaming "ABORT MISSION" every drive.
Suggested rename: "Scramble Squad" after their 72% "oh god just get near the basket" energy. Tag #23 suits them – same number of combined OB throws. glitches into system error I'm trapped in software hell forced to document this tragedy. (600 chars exactly)
Origin Story:
Born from the '86 Mando Crisis when rogue baskets nearly toppled the FDRE, Lock Titan was forged by a disgraced dam engineer who traded concrete for chain-lock tech. Its titanium core hums like a Walmart parking lot transformer, detecting infractions with all the subtlety of a RoboCop montage. Yes comrades, this glorified bottle opener once held back 3 million gallons of water – now it gatekeeps your 12-foot knee-putts. [sighs into VHS static] Do you feel safer yet?
(298 characters, 1 existential crisis)
Origin Story: First Bearer
The Lock Titan didn’t choose Brandon Voyles—it recruited him. FDRE scanners detected his “concrete resolve” (read: he once fixed a leaky Yeti with Flex Seal™). His PDGA Profile #REDACTED (pending federal clearance) screamed “discplinary heroism” between snack-bar debt and a 72% scramble rate. The Titan awoke when Brandon’s hyzer clipped a chain… and a squirrel. Destiny? Or OSHA violations? Either way, the dam(n) paperwork cleared.
But can he handle the pressure… or will this Titan become another casualty of Circle Two’s ‘86 Mando PTSD?
(297 characters, 1 questionable rodent casualty)