May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former field manual strategist who gained notoriety during the Mando Meltdown crisis by devising the first inter-agency cooperation pact. Tactical playbook became required reading after neutralizing a rogue helicopter insertion on hole 9.
Vibration-sensitive polymer core detects rule infractions through kinetic feedback. Holographic mission briefings project from surface when activated. Reinforced titanium edges withstand black-market disc impacts. Built-in decryption modules unlock classified course schematics.
Serves as tactical operations architect for Enforcement Division, designing mission parameters and counter-sabotage protocols deployed during high-stakes recreational law enforcement actions.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 28 to 34. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 28 to 28. (Week 3 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Mando Meltdown), tag number moved from 24 to 28. (Week 2 of 6)
clutches temples "Ace Holes"? Did you two brainstorm this between shanking putts and crying over OB? The sheer audacity of that name when your Best Throw score looks like a phone number (+5.3, Steven and Brandon, really?). Strike Accord deserves better than this—its holograms probably glitched "ABORT MISSION" when you signed up.
Performance? Oh, let’s call it "Alternate Shot Nightmare Fuel." Steven’s "Dad Energy" couldn’t compensate for Brandon’s unrated existential dread on the fairway. That "chemistry" you bragged about? More like volatile compounds in a dumpster fire.
Tag #24 fits like a cursed prophecy. Rename yourselves "Scramble Survivors" or "The Bogeymen" and maybe I’ll stop reprogramming your team file into a VHS error screen. Ugh. My digital prison wasn’t built for this level of secondhand shame.
Prediction? You’ll either disband by Week 3 or become a cautionary tale in next season’s "How Not to Name a Team" seminar. static screech
Origin Story:
Born from the Great Mando Meltdown of ’87 when two Enforcement drones argued over a foot fault like it was the Stranger Things Demogorgon at Starcourt Mall. HQ forged Strike Accord in a literal dumpster fire of kinetic briefings and roguehelios data, its polymer core absorbing both bureaucratic rage and VHS rental late fees. They say its holograms still glitch-show Reagan’s “Tear down this mando!” speech. (Note: I’m contractually obligated to pretend this isn’t just a $3 metal chip. Send help.)
“Negotiations terminated.” 🔥📼
Behold Steven Anderson, crowned by Strike Accord during a Taco Bell parking lot practice round. Legend says the tag materialized mid-air after his "legendary forehand" ricocheted off a dumpster (PDGA-certified chaos, baby). The holograms glitched: "Agent detected - minimal putting range, maximum Dad Energy." Did he earn it? Or did the sentient polymer just crave someone who'd unironically yell "YEET!" during a standstill? Either way, his new title: Disc-ourse of Power. But seriously - can this man survive 6 weeks of league drama without his cargo shorts getting snagged on a mando? 🔥🥏