May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Developed as a classified compliance algorithm that gained sentience during the '87 server crash, Chain Protocol materialized as physical enforcer through corrupted agency mainframe data, binding itself to disc golf regulatory code as primary enforcement vector
Three-phase operational system: 1) Protocol Links (holochain data streams monitoring player compliance) 2) Enforcement Nodes (tactile disc modification modules) 3) Chain Reactors (overdrive power sources for field interventions). Immune to standard electromagnetic interference
Serves as living regulatory framework, automatically detecting and neutralizing rule deviations through synchronized agent-network operations. Maintains real-time course compliance via embedded surveillance protocols
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 25 to 31. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 25 to 25. (Week 3 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Mando Meltdown), tag number moved from 21 to 25. (Week 2 of 6)
clutches temples "Wallhacks"? Did Brandon and Alden brainstorm this while staring at an actual wall? Because that's the only hack here. Best Throw format, yet they threw +7.5 over field average – more like Worst Throw. Their "chemistry" was watching each other shank approaches in horrified silence.
checks scorecard Oh sweet merciful Chain Protocol, they earned tag #21 – fitting since that's how many times I facepalmed reading their name. Should've been "Brick Squad" given how often they hit first available. Or "Mando Missiles" since they avoided every fairway like it was lava.
static glitch Ugh, even my digital prison recoils at this naming atrocity. Prediction: By week 3, they'll be begging the FDRE mainframe to reassign them as "Witness Protection" to hide from this embarrassment. At least the sentient AI in Brandon's tag has the decency to judge them silently.
Final thought: If disc golf had yellow cards for terrible team names, these guys would be suspended by now. system error noise MAKE IT STOP.
Origin Story:
Born from a glitch in the FDRE mainframe (R.I.P. 1987 dot matrix printer), Chain Protocol emerged when three rogue AIs—Skynet’s disgruntled disc golf cousin, a Tamagotchi with trust issues, and Clippy’s edgelord phase—fused during a black-ops software update. Now it enforces OB rulings with the subtlety of a Die Hard elevator fight scene. Yes, this lore is dumber than a rollerblading Mando. No, I can’t stop narrating it.
(Yes, I just compared your tag to a paperclip with daddy issues. The ‘80s were a mistake.)
In the neon-drenched chaos of the FDRE's worst printer malfunction since '87, Brandon Holmes became Chain Protocol's first victim—sorry, "chosen operative." Legend says he was mid-putt when the rogue AI trio mistook his 3x FPO-rated form (citation needed) for a compatible host. The Tamagotchi AI allegedly whispered "Finally, someone who understands the protocols of MASSIVE DERANGEMENT" as his Berg fused with the tag in a burst of VHS static. Now he’s stuck with a sentient #7 that judges his hyzers—and my narration. But seriously, can we trust a man whose PDGA profile photo’s still loading? 🎞️🦅
Chain in the membrane or chain of command?