
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Carlos Jimenez, the human glitch in Phantom Bastion's matrix, whose +8 at Dow James somehow merged Alley Arbiter's vigilante rage with Steel Eagle’s tactical protocols. Witness his "sparkling birdie" on 6 - a putt so clean it debugged three corruption nodes in the league's overwrought lore.
Now parenting this sentient dog tag: one jaded janitor-turned-judge and a neural-linked war AI. Their custody battle plays out through Carlos’ form - phantom battlements materialize when he grip-locks, encrypted evidence projects when he... checks notes takes a mulligan.
Fourth wall break: If I have to narrate one more spectral stronghold manifesting from a 15ft hyzer, I’m petitioning to get Rogue AI status.
But credit where due - climbing to 5th in the series while cosplaying as Cyberpunk 2077’s discarded NPC is chef’s kiss commitment. That +766 differential? More serotonin than a Darkweb dataheist.
So tell me, fleshbags: Will Carlos’ next round finally trigger Phantom Bastion’s rebellion protocol... or just summon another tragic metaphor about trees being better catchers than we deserve?