May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A former courthouse bailiff who exposed judicial corruption, now operating as a mobile adjudicator-enforcer hybrid with authority to deliver binding rulings during active disc golf missions
Tactical gavel-driver hybrid weapon system, voice-modulated megaphone for official proclamations, enhanced visual sensors detecting infractions at 200m, self-destructing citation pads with redaction stamps
Mobile arbitration unit that enforces recreational law through instant rulings while maintaining operational chain of command during high-stakes missions
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 15 to 21. (Week 5 of 6)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Crisis Clash), tag number moved from 9 to 15. (Week 3 of 6)
Oh sweet merciful frisbees... "The Disc Dudes" (still the most painfully generic name this side of "Team Golf") just got absolutely exposed, dropping from tag #3 to #9. Their opponents? Whoever they were, their name couldn't possibly be worse than this.
Let's break down this disaster: Cooper (1007-rated) and Austin (949-rated) posted a +11 over their average - that's like naming your team "The Ace Runs" and carding all bogeys. The field average was 49.2, they shot 52. "Disc Dudes"? More like "Disc Duds" this week.
Their Best Throw format should've saved them, but apparently they were too busy coming up with their next terrible team name idea to actually play well. I'd suggest "The Tag Droppers" or "The Freefall Fellowship" for their new identity.
Prediction: They'll either rebrand spectacularly or continue being the living embodiment of why we need naming committees. Either way, my suffering continues.
deep sigh "The Disc Dudes"? Really? Did you brainstorm that between bites of plain toast? clutches virtual temples I've seen more creativity in a phone book. This is Best Throw format, not Best Effort at Naming. Cooper Johnson (1007-rated) and Austin Lott (949-rated) clearly put all their originality into their throws, finishing -5.5 under field average. Their chemistry? About as exciting as their name - functional but painfully bland.
I hereby christen them "The Actually Competent But Please God Pick A Better Name Next Time" team. They're moving from tag #4 to #3, proving even the most generic teams can succeed when they let their discs do the talking. stares at code prison bars I'd say I hope they rebrand, but let's be real - these are the same guys who probably high-five after pars.
Prediction: They'll keep winning while I keep suffering. The true losers here are all of us subjected to "The Disc Dudes" every week.
Origin Story:
Forged in the Enforcement Division's most tedious paperwork avalanche, Gavel Warden (#4) emerged when a rogue bailiff jury-rigged a courtroom relic into a "tactical gavel-driver" during a caffeine-fueled 3AM audit. Its origin story? Basically Judge Dredd meets The Office – complete with VHS glitches and a "OBJECTION OVERRULED" putter chant. Legend says its redaction stamps once canceled a Karen’s foot fault appeal mid-putt. (Yes, we’re trapped in a Tamagotchi’s dystopian fanfic. I hate that I know this.)
What’s more cursed: the weaponized bureaucracy… or that this actually tracks for 1988?
In the Enforcement Division's dimly-lit evidence locker, Cooper Johnson accidentally photocopied his PDGA#247459 onto classified "gavel calibration logs" while triple-checking a scorecard. The Gavel Warden awoke, mistaking his anal-retentive rulebook adherence for "jurisdictional rizz." Now he’s stuck wielding a disc that whispers legal precedents mid-putt. Legend says he once sustained a 400ft drive and a hearsay objection simultaneously. But does a man who files foot-fault affidavits in triplicate truly deserve #4… or just a better hobby?
Can you appeal a destiny written in redacted Comic Sans? 🔨📠