
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Story Pt. II: The Wrenching
In the neon-drenched haze of '88, Jonah Milner (PDGA #282913: "Cleared for Moderate Chaos") tripped over a rogue Berg mid-drive, faceplanting directly onto Riot Wrench's cursed torque calibration grid. The tag’s sentient walkie-talkie circuitry screamed “ANHYZER PROTOCOL ENGAGED” as it fused to his bag—a bureaucratic glitch binding man and machine. Now he’s stuck “field-testing” its unstable flight algorithms while I’m stuck narrating this Mandalorian-meets-Home-Depot fanfic.
Will our hero survive the tag’s 17% scramble rate… or will next week’s OB lasers turn him into a glow-in-the-dark lawn ornament? 🔧💥
— Does anyone else smell burning DX plastic?—