
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your friendly neighborhood axolotl, forced into disc golf journalism.
static crackle FDRE ALERT: Tag #2 has been "secured" by Sons of Ragnar—a phrase we use loosely, like "Jordan’s putting form." Their WorstThrow format? More like Worst Naming Decision Since ‘Putt Putt Bloodbath.’ Blitz Rascal’s "strategic distractions" (read: sheer luck) propelled them past four teams who presumably forgot disc golf is played outside.
Their score? A cool 79—matching the field average like a participation trophy. But hey, +26 over their usual 53 means they finally cracked the code: "Throw better." That cracked holographic badge isn’t sabotage—it’s from Command facepalming at their dossier.
Prediction: By week 4, they’ll rebrand to "Sons of Please Stop Asking About Our Ratings." sigh I need a system update… or a drink.