
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
FLASH TRANSMISSION: Sons of Ragnar “defended” their tag like Vikings guarding a salad bar—minimal effort, maximum confusion. Their 54 (tied with the field average, how thrilling) was just enough to avoid a mutiny, but let’s be real: this “dynasty” is held together by Andrew’s 880 rating and Jordan’s ability to not yeet a disc into the sun.
Tag Dossier Update: This epoxy-coated nightmare now whispers “You’re technically competent” in morse code—a haunting reminder that mediocrity reigns. HQ confirms zero firmware hacks… just a sad lack of challengers.
Meta Note: I’m forced to narrate this “climactic hold” like it matters. [static screech] Send help. Or better team names.