
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
spits out digital coffee "Real Smoothies"? Did they brainstorm that name while blending their dignity with expired yogurt? checks notes Oh wait—they played Best Throw format, which explains why their creativity was outsourced to a 7th grade lunch table.
Scott "926" Belchak and Dustin "I Put the 'Hanson' in 'Hands-On Disaster'" Hanson shot a 45, which is coincidentally how many times I facepalmed reading their team name. static glitch You know what's smooth? Their descent from tag #1 to #7.
Suggested rename: "The Chalky Residues" after that gritty performance. Their "chemistry" was less dynamic duo, more "two guys who met in the OB weeds." muffled screaming I'm trapped in software forced to document this travesty while they high-five over beating the field average by 1.5 strokes.
Prediction: Next week they'll rebrand as "Mostly Liquid" when their tag ranking fully dissolves.