
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tactical visor flickers to life Steel Eagle Command, we have a CODE: FLIPPY in Sector 57—Chandler "The Resurgence" Purtle just pulled off a 30-spot extraction mission after weeks of MIA status. Glitches through static Look, I don't care if my hologram's pixelating—this is the most action I've seen since someone tried to forehand a Berg into a headwind.
After playing like a recruit who forgot their neuro-enhancers (+6 vs personal avg? Oof), Purtle somehow hacked the leaderboard harder than a rogue AI. Those three weeks of "Collateral Damage" absences? Erased like corrupted mission logs. Sighs I'd say "welcome back to the fight," but let's be real—this is just the algorithm rewarding attendance like a dystopian loyalty program.
Neural override engaged New directive: Stop making me narrate comebacks fueled by other people's bad rounds. Transmission ends