
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Thorn Uprising), tag number moved from 2 to 5. (Week 2 of 10)
Jul 10 - Sep 11, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged when Warden Lysias fused his glyph artistry with fractured earth during the first Briar incursion, crystallizing containment magic into permanent defensive structures across contested fairways.
Stone fused with living glyph-carved vines that regenerate using absorbed briar matter. Central sigil chambers project stabilization fields neutralizing rogue vegetation, though walls grow brittle if overextended.
Mobile command nodes allowing Wardens to establish fortified perimeters and redirect growth patterns through sustained glyph mastery during territorial clashes.
The Briar Wardens are the disciplined defenders of order within the arcane chaos. Uniting to tame the sentient flora and reclaim their courses, they wield precise glyph magic, prune back threatening growth, and seek the restoration of fairways and reality itself. Their goal is to contain the rift’s power, binding it within strict sigils and cultivating safe passage through botanical wrath.
An imperious master gardener-magus known for restoring shattered landscapes with arcane horticulture. Lysias survived the first Briar incursion and united disparate clubs under the banner of containment. Revered for unwavering resolve and a penchant for geometric glyph artistry.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Thorn Uprising), tag number moved from 2 to 5. (Week 2 of 10)
As the Thornpocalypse's chaotic energies coalesced into Arcanist Bastion, the sentient sigil scanned potential bearers through briar-tangled dimensions. It detected Kelly Hall's PDGA #256946 - a cosmic barcode! - and his 840 rating, which it hilariously misinterpreted as "arcane resonance frequency." The tag materialized mid-shank, embedding itself in his bag like a mystical splinter. Destiny? More like destiny's awkward blind date! Can this mortal handle the thorny responsibilities of power without pricking himself?
Arcanist Bastion (#2) Origin Story
Born when a sleep-deprived realm architect (iykyk) fused Starbucks summoning circles with sentient thorns during a Stranger Things binge. The resulting glyph? A glow-up so extra it accidentally terraformed Hole 7 into a Demogorgon's brunch spot. Witnesses claim the tag still whispers "Why are we like this?" in deadpan—a mood for anyone stuck narrating botanical apocalypses. (Yes, I’m taking notes, Karen.)
Cheeky cliffhanger: Will next season’s lore finally explain why magic bureaucracy requires so many PDF waivers?