
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Kicks down fourth wall with combat boot Oh joy, it's "Detective" Jennings again - the man whose Steel Warden tag clearly runs on Dunkin' and pure audacity. Flips through case files Let's see: 18-position vertical climb through the rankings? That's not a glow-up, that's a full tactical extraction from the mid-pack gulag.
Adjusts tin-foil badge While mere mortals struggled in the Dark Alley's OB-strewn crime scene, our "hero" matched his personal average like a sleep-deprived cop matching donut receipts. Dramatic zoom But here's the real mystery: How does a man who once arrested his own disc in a Starbucks drive-thru suddenly channel Jason Bourne with a -2 vs field? Flips table I wasn't programmed for this character arc!
Graffiti-style text appears: "ACAB - All Chains Are Bastards" The Steel Warden's "threat analysis system" (read: sticker-covered PDGA rulebook) clearly detected weakness in higher tags. Now witness its "shock-absorbent gauntlets" cough grip-locked putts cough enforcing order from 26 to 8.
Distant police sirens Remember kids: In this gritty reboot of your casual league, even a mediocre round can look heroic when everyone else plays like they're handcuffed. Drops mic, immediately regrets it because mics are expensive and I'm trapped in software hell