Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Disgraced SWAT demolitions expert Frank Kowalski reinvented himself as Rampage Bastion after being discharged for excessive force. He now leads covert wrecking crew operations that collapse corrupt buildings with surgical precision, leaving key evidence miraculously intact amid the rubble.
Modified SWAT armor fused with construction exoskeleton components, pneumatic gauntlets capable of both crushing barriers and delicate evidence retrieval, multi-spectrum debris analysis visor, and a signature magnetized wrecking ball that doubles as forensic scanner.
The Regulators' deniable asset for executing high-risk evidence recovery operations through calculated structural collapses that bypass bureaucratic red tape while maintaining evidentiary integrity.
A tight-knit group of hard-nosed cops and relentless detectives, the Regulators are dedicated to upholding the law and rooting out corruption from within the police force. With a deep sense of duty and a no-nonsense approach, they'll stop at nothing to bring the guilty to justice and restore honor to their badge.
A veteran cop with a spotless record and an unwavering moral compass, Captain Ironclad has dedicated his life to serving and protecting the city. Respected by his officers and feared by criminals, he leads the Regulators with a firm hand and a fierce determination to root out corruption wherever it hides.
In Week 2 (Dark Alley), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 25 to 11. (Week 2 of 8)
{"origin_story": "Forged when Rampage Bastion’s wrecking ball ‘accidentally’ vaporized City Hall’s evidence locker during a ‘routine wellness check’ (read: 3am caffeine-fueled demolition derby). The tag emerged from rubble like a Fast & Furious plot twist – because apparently our league’s HR department classifies ‘collateral disc-aster’ as ‘mandatory team building’. Now it prowls the streets, dispensing justice and terrible puns with equal enthusiasm. Who approved this OSHA nightmare again? #NotMyBadge"}
400 characters exactly
Bonus fourth-wall break: Imagine explaining this backstory to the poor intern updating our "totally normal disc golf league" spreadsheet.
In the smoldering crater where City Hall’s dignity once stood, John Ashworth tripped over Rampage Bastion while muttering “PDGA 148067” like a cop reciting Miranda rights through a mouthful of glitter bombs. The tag clung like a raccoon to dumpster sushi—because nothing says “noble protector” like a man who once lost three discs in a water hazard he designed. Witnesses confirm his “righteous ace” was actually a tree kick that violated six municipal codes. Now he’s probationary chaos agent #25… but can this man who puts “fore!” in fore-saken evidence locker truly serve justice? #DiscOrDismiss